Steve's Magical Adventures
by Fascist
Summary: Steve explores the world
1. Chapter 1

Steve was fucking a pig in the ass when a portal appeared on the wall of his sex dungeon. Steve pulled his 2 block long cock out of the pig's ass and walked over to the portal, inspecting it carefully. Then, without warning, he shoved his cock into the portal. His cock poked something crispy and warm. He pulled his dick out of the portal and inspected his mighty dong. It was stained with ash and blood. Feeling confident now, he stepped into the portal without hesitation. When he stepped out onto the other side, he smelt the tasty aroma of burning human flesh and clothing. He looked down and saw a burnt corpse on the ground. 'That's probably what my dick touched' thought Steve. Suddenly, he became overridden with urge to shove his magnificent phallus into something. Something CRISPY. Steve threw himself on top of the corpse and positioned his schlong right in front of the burnt, black asshole. He was ready. Steve slammed his cock into the body's asshole and began mercilessly thrusting into it. Steve then fucked the crispy piece of bacon for twelve minutes. Finally, Steve screamed at the top of his lungs and came 29 buckets of thick, gooey cum into the dead man's ass. Cum sprayed out of the otherside of him like a firehose. Satisfied, Steve pulled out and walked back through the portal. He walked over to his foldable table, picked up a sledgehammer, and slammed it down onto the pig's head. The pig squealed and collapsed to the floor. It began kicking and writhing, obviously in extreme pain. Steve walked over to his bed and layed down, feeling very tired. Right before he closed his eyes, he thought 'I wonder what adventures I will have tommorow?' Then he closed his eyes and fell asleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Steve was having a pleasant afternoon. After he had woken up, he had made some crispy bacon using the meat from the pig he killed the night before. After breakfast he grabbed his HK33 out of his chest and took a walk around town, mowing down stray animals and gay couples wherever he went, ignoring their desperate screaming.

What Steve didn't realize, was that whatever he killed slowly moved towards each other and molding together into an unholy amalgamation made out of rabies and AIDS. It let out a combination of deafening moaning/screeching/howling noises and lumbered after what had caused it so much pain before.

Steve was robbing a convenience store. He didn't care about the loud noises outside. However, Steve started to care when a car smashed through the wall and smashed into the cashier, causing a spray of guts and blood to cover Steve's entire left side. He observed the creature as it was coming through the hole it had just made and noted that it was oozing out blood, cum, feces, and other mysterious liquids.

Steve saw the faces of the fags he had killed and realized that it would be quite easy to kill it. Steve walked up to the creature and said-

"You're gay lol"

The abomination let out a demonic screech which caused Steve to cover his ears. A massive, flaming hole opened up beneath the creature and swallowed it whole. The hole disappeared shortly after and Steve took the money from the tax register and shoved it into a plastic bag. Steve walked out of the store and down the road, proud that he vanquished the evil creature to the Nether for all of eternity.


	3. Chapter 3

Steve was walking down the street when he saw a penny on the side of the road. Steve pointed and yelled-

"Hey look a penny!"

7 milliseconds later, a Rabbi came sprinting out of the bank and dived toward the penny whilst screaming-

"OY VEY"

He grabbed the penny mid air and somehow managed to turn around and fly back into the bank. Steve stood their for a while, trying to comprehend what he had just watched. Steve then decided to avenge his grandfather and pulled a Molotov Cocktail out of his pocket. Steve lit the Molotov and threw it into the bank. As the building went up in flames, he heard the sounds of people screaming in Hebrew. Steve knew he had done the right thing. Steve then walked down the sidewalk like nothing had happened.


	4. Chapter 4

Steve strutted into the strip club with his pockets overflowing with emeralds. He decided to come to this fine establishment after raping and killing a local prostitute in a back alley. He walked to the counter and sat down, contemplating what he was about to do. Though unknown to anyone else, the cash and his smug attitude were merely a facade used to fool onlookers. He had no use for this place.

He was a serial rapist, after all.

He carefully removed his penis from his jeans and pressed it against the underside of the counter. His penis began spreading along the counter, eventually covering it entirely. Other inhabitants of the club began to take notice of what Steve was doing. They attempted to run out of the entrance and into the street.

Steve was having none of that.

Sharp tendrils shot out of his penis and either impaled or grabbed everyone within the area. The club was soon filled with the screams of strippers and perverts, virgins and bartenders, but Steve ignored them.

This was the best day of his life!

Steve began screeching as his dick began expanding even more, covering the entire building, inside and out. The people inside the club were long dead, already eaten by Steve's phallus.

Steve was quite obviously not yet finished, as evidenced by the intense growth of his cock. The city was soon a cacophony of noise, a chorus of screaming, crying, praying and so much more!

And then he came.

He screamed so loud that aliens from distant planets could hear him, said aliens would wonder for centuries about what that strange and terrifying noise was. Steve was in absolute ecstasy and delight, the streets a river of cum and debris. As he finished cumming, he sat there, contempt with what he had just done. Steve then fell asleep in a puddle of semen and blood, and dreamt about the Bubonic plague killing the entire population of Nigeria.

Steve was finally, after a very long time, truly happy.


End file.
